4th edition /tg/ campaign of awesome

Please Input Value for Longsword

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computer

I am posting another of Joou’s great encounter retellings.

It seems we are destined to never just be able to game normally. At least this time we had the full four PCs; Alt’s computer had exploded last week, and he didnt get it running till last Sunday. Bosko didn’t show up till much later, though, on account of being away for dinner. He didn’t miss anything, anyways. Why, you say? I’m glad you asked.

We initially used maptools because Xiggy had found an addon that was 4E friendly, supposedly with several enhancements to make it easier to run a 4E game. We had not used it till now. Loading it proved to be a problem, since S.Kobold had to host but Xiggy was GM, and he had lag. I lagged like crazy as well, but nobody paid any attention to me. Until it happened.

Trying to set up equipment in a confusing layout, I replaced a bit of code with the word ‘Longsword’. This proved disastrous. As soon as I hit enter, ten million popups jumped up asking me to input the value for Longsword. I tried shutting maptools down from the taskmanager to see if that would fix it, but it was too late. Xiggy mouseovered my pog and exploded in Longswords. He told Kobold not to, so guess what happened next. In the end the host had to kill it and restart. This meant that Xiggy’s work editing the maps was lost.

Of course, some hardware problems were also present. Xiggy’s mic made a constant buzzing sound, and Alt’s mic flat out refused to work. He got something going, but we heard him as if from a far away location.

We finally decided to just fuck it and use regular ole maptools. By this time, Bosko had appeared and joined us. I fiddled around with the pog editor and managed to make some macros. I also did something unthinkable: actually saved my friggin pog this time. After like an hour and a half of longswords, we were ready to begin.

Our party awoke at the inn, once again, now four strong. We finally decided to brave the kobold lair, hoping against hope not to die this time. That is to say, trying to avoid the inevitable. At least we didn’t get jumped on the way there thsi time. We arrived at a small clearing in the woods, in front of a waterfall. Hearing some voices, we decided to sneak in through the trees, some of us with more success than others. What we saw on the other side was surprisingly not terrifying. We thought, for a change, that we might come out victorious. We were so young, so foolish.

What we saw were some kobold dragonshields, a slinger, some skirmishers and a shitton of minions. They were relatively clumped in two groups, so no worries there. One of the dragonshields was inside what seemed a magic circle, so we thought caution was in order. Jayne the fighter jumped in through the trees and scared the pants off a few minions, landing in front of the circle. Quarl decided to remain hidden. The minions to the south grouped up closer to the dragonshield. When my turn came up, I closed in on them and shouted my lungs out, taking them out. The minions and skirmishers to the north engaged Wallace in the middle of the trees, while Jayne and Quarl finished up the dragonshield in the circle and the remaining minions.

One of the slingers, I think it was, suddenly ran off screaming something about warning ‘the others’. Fortunately he was bloodied and Quarl sniped him from afar before he made it into a cave. We finished up the remaining scalies with little trouble. All in all, only Jayne and Wallace had damage on them. We thought we were invincible. We thought wrong.

Swollen with this newfound feeling, we marched into the cave through the northern entrance. There we found additional skirmishers, dragonshields, and even more minions than before. We charged right into them. Jayne and Wallace went left, into the dragonshields. Quarl and Paris went south, into a bottleneck, waiting for the minions and subsequently smoking them all. The dragonshields were reinforced with some skirmishers, and were putting the hurt on the boys, so Paris turned ‘round to lend them a hand while Quarl went the other way. Then, disaster struck. As we went further into the cave, we spotted a room full of treasures and one very, very angry goblin. Irontooth, his name. I didn’t quite catch the name of his battleaxe, but I called it ‘sir’ just in case. Turns out that motherfucker was Orcus in disguise, or so it seemed, we all had a laugh at Xiggy who kept calling him Orcus on accident.

At around the same time, a Wyrmpriest and two dragonshield escorts appeared to the south. By now, we were being overwhelmed in a kobold-slash-goblin sandwich. We try to whittle their numbers, but it’s not enough. Irontooth hits too damn hard. With a combination of daily attacks, we manage to knock him into bloodied, but the bastard apparently has tons of HP. And then, disaster. Wallace goes down. Paris has no heals left. On the next round, Jayne goes down as well. Shit be looking grim. There’s still a few kobolds left, but fortunately Quarl has better aim than the rest of us, or maybe just better luck. Things were looking down, but the DM probably fudged a few rolls to save our asses from the fire. Which is good, because the dying dudes had both failed two death saves, and miraculously made their third save. Finally managing to out-damage the fucker, we bring Irontooth down. He yells something about failing Orcus and croaks.

In the aftermath, we resucitated Jayne and Wallace and searched the premises/corpses. We found some four hundred coins, as well as a magic chainmail, which went pretty immediately to Wallace, may he not fall in battle as often. As well as loot, we found a suspicious letter on Irontooth, apparently warning him of our impending arrival.

And, once again, the XP was way too much. Something like 450 EXP total, so averaging over 200 XP per encounter, per person. Dayum. The good news is that Quarl and Paris are one brutal encounter away from dinging level two.

By now, it was already an hour and a half past our usual quittin’ time, and Xiggy’s exhaustion was clear in his voice. I was also nodding at the comp, and had to be up early in the morn. We called it quits there.

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Joou

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